We all have those few friends who keep complaining about their life all the time. At least, I have. Life isn’t fair to them; their work sucks, they don’t feel motivated to do anything, they feel like nothing is working out for them, they are failing over and over again. Don’t we all have moments like these?
Sorry to break the news to you, but mother nature didn’t design the life to be easy. She did quite the opposite.
Despite all the complaints we might have about life, we have it a little bit easier compared to hunters from the ice age. Don’t you think? So why your life isn’t working out quite like you’d wish?
Reality check: You are not a kid anymore
When we were kids, our problems seemed to disappear magically. It often felt as there are good fairies taking care of us. You aren’t entirely wrong. Those good fairies are called parents.
However, when you grow out of bedtime stories, life starts looking differently. The bad news is, life wasn’t designed to be a fairy-tale 24/7, 365 days a year. It can be pretty hard. It may seem that for some of us it sucks all the time. The question is why it doesn’t change? Whose fault is it? Why some people seem to have it easier than others?
They don’t. Okay, It’s only fair to admit that not all of us are born in perfect conditions. Let me tell you some people have to go through real shit.
If you are born in a war zone, a country suffering from poverty or lack of medication to cure simple diseases or injuries, well yeah, that sucks. This scenario might sound a bit extreme, but plausible. But how many of these people were able to become a change they wanted to see?
The one thing we have in common when we are born is our will. At the same time, it’s our will that distinguishes us from each other.
You decide if you’ll keep literally just floating through life that sucks or you choose to act upon it.
We all want to have it easy, don’t we?
Imagine yourself finally deciding to improve your life. You are at the point where you need to think about all the work that awaits. Think about the research you need to do, all the hours you need to put in, potential complications that might come your way, the possibility of failure or success, the time it will take.
Is there light at the end of the tunnel?
It’s quite a lot to take in, isn’t it? For instance, if you hate your job, even though you are in a secure position, having an excellent salary, is it worthy to go through all the trouble? Or is it more convenient to keep complaining while remaining in your comfort zone?
Sadly, the latter is the reality for many people. They often talk about what they’d like to have, where they’d want to be, what others have and they don’t, but they hardly ever do something about it. Even though, they have everything they need to turn their life around.
I have a friend, who hates his job, he talks about it for three years, and I still see no change. There is always an excuse. He is too busy, he doesn’t know what he wants to do, or the timing isn’t right. I mean, is it ever?
Not to be a hypocrite, it took me two years and my best friend to kick my ass,
to leave the job I didn’t like anymore, get my Canadian visa, go for my sabbatical, get a new job, buckle down and start writing. All of this while I struggled with the loss of two people I loved in less than a year. Boy, was it painful? Yes. But, is it getting better! Yes, on all fronts!
So please, spare your friends of whining and look into the mirror. A little bit of self-reflection won’t hurt you. It’s okay to complain for a while, but at some point, it’ll start to be annoying. I know this sounds harsh, and it depends on what sort of difficulties you’re going through in your life.
Use the most powerful tool(s) we, as humans, have
By this, I don’t mean technology. Well, it depends on how you look at it. What am I talking about? Our brain and mind. Pretty much, they (or you) decide what we see, how we view the world and everything that is happening around us, how we perceive our lives, our interactions with others, how we see ourselves.
It’s all in your mind. If you keep telling yourself something is hard to achieve, or you’ll never be able to do it, you’ll never succeed. Or worse. You’ll never even try to start.
The key is to shift your thinking from negative to positive. Often, the hardest part of succeeding in your life is changing your perspective.
Try to envision yourself one or two years from now. If you are going through a particularly rough time, think only a few days ahead. No one ended up being happy, content and successful overnight. The success starts with small steps, and it takes time.
Waiting for green light is useless
My all-time favourite excuse for people, who aren’t happy with their life, is they don’t know where to start. My question is then: If you don’t start at all, how you want to figure it out?
When I started writing, I had zero clue about composition, grammar, my audience or even a platform I wanted to use for sharing my content. I discovered Medium by accident, doing my research on a completely unrelated topic. After spending few hours browsing through it, I just decided to give it a go. I started by posting one article a month to see if anyone will show some interest. What was the result? Zero interest for the first few months, so I stopped. After a few months, I started again. I just couldn’t let it go.
This time I scanned through most successful writers, looking at topics, compositions, article length, most popular hashtags and started all over again. It worked! I’m not Tom Kuegler, but visit his blog and read how many hours it took him to get where he’s now. The same story applies to everyone else I know.
So my clue with this one is: START SOMEWHERE and START NOW. Don’t wait for green light. There will never be the right time or occasion.
Start getting comfortable feeling uncomfortable
What a beautiful oxymoron, don’t you think? It’s something you’ll have to get used to if you want a change. It’s uncomfortable to get out of your comfort zone and start all over again.
Whether we talk about relationships, work, project, life, whatever is your case.
- No one wants to have serious relationships conversations that make us feel awkward.
- Why would you start investing your time into something that might never work out?
- Why would you leave your well-paid job and position for a position where you’ll have to start building your career all over again? That’s a lot of why not, right?
But what about why yes! What about you start saying yes to conversations that will improve your relationships? What if you start a side hustle without giving up the security of stable income until you figure it out?
It might get exhausting at times. But think of the rewarding feeling you’ll have when you’ll be able to leave a job you don’t like and still live comfortably, doing what you love. Some sacrifices are worth it.
Just start accepting the fact, life will get uncomfortable at times. And yes , sometimes it will be exhausting. But don’t give up when the first obstacle comes your way.
Start making smart choices about how you spend your time or with who you spend it. Start taking responsibility for your own life. Just don’t forget to have fun, as well!
You are not in this on your own
At some point in our lives, we all go through the same experience. Running away from problems, or procrastinating with starting working on something you want to achieve, is not a solution.
Sometimes it will seem as there is no end to s*** that keeps happening to you. But if I ask you, to what extent it’s something you can or can’t influence, what will be your answer?
If you are still wondering when your life will get better…It will happen when you’ll stop being reactive and start being proactive.
So what about you start taking control of the things you can and start making small steps towards the life you’d like to have? That sounds better, doesn’t it?